Emotional Wreck

Lately have nave been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I believe that it has a lot to do with needing a hysterectomy, but some of it comes from a feeling of helplessness. Money has not been this tight in over 10 years for us and I hate it. Mikes work is not issuing over time anymore and now they are having us pay for our insurance. Mike has not had a raise in years, but everything else has gone up. I am still working but it is just not enough. I have applied to Coventry Health, and have not heard anything at all. I need to have a radical hysterectomy within the next few weeks, and that scares me too. I am really depressed lately and just want to cry all the time. I really hate what is going on and feel helpless to stop it. I don't answer the phone anymore, and hate going anywhere. I don't want to talk to a doctor because they will only put me on medication to mask the pain not to mention it will cost money that I just don't have. If I don't get this job that I have applied for, after my surgery I will take on a second job. I really shouldn't complain at least I have a job and a roof over my head.